Management for Dummies

Here are some expert guidlines for aspiring managers, that someone actually bothered writing down. See if you can recognize people with these traits...

Spark's Ten Rules for the Manager :

1. Strive to look tremendously Important
2. Attempt to be seen with important people
3. Speak with authority. However expound only on the obviuos, proven facts.
4. Don't Engage in arguments, but if cornered, ask a totally irrelevant question and lean back with a satisfied grin while your opponent tries to figure out what's going on - then quickly change the subject
5. Listen intently while others are arguing the problem. Pounce on a trite satement and bury them with it.
6. If a subordinate asks you a pertinent question, look at him as if he had lost his senses. When he looks down, paraphrase the question back at him.
7. Get all the good assignments, but don't let anyone else know until after you've finished with them.
8. Walk at a fast pace when outside the office - This keeps questions from subordinates and superiors at a minimum.
9. Always keep the office door closed. This puts visitors on the defensive and also makes it look as if you are always in an important conference,
10. Give all orders verbally. Never write anything down for which you can be held responisble later.

Well? Follow those and you are bound to succeed. Incidentally, this is Murphy's Law II